That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
