I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
please come you make the beer taste better
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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