with your own penis?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
