Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
