Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
