i can't believe i had my finger in that
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
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I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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