do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
