I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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