Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
