"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
