I'm jealous of your bromance
even my farts smell like vagina
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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