if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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