is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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