He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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