I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
