Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
