Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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