Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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