Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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