you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
