the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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