New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Randomize
