he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
