the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
