I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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