Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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