Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have tasted many bathrooms
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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