yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
