So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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