the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
