So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
