I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
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i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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