3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
do nipples grow back?
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