So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
