I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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