The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
