ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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