I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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