i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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