butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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