looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Pants are for mortals
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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