how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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