Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
