Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
