just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
