She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need to calm my uterus...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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