hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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