Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
