Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
