watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
