Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
