Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
