Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
