I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
