when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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