But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
