Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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