yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
