i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
